Thank you, the wonderful trio !

I have finally caught up with my American adventures and reflections, some of them at least. Looking thru the pages of my "American notebook," I realize I have much more to say and to share. I'm going to do it. But right now I'm on the verge of leaving: Hungary and Montenegro are waiting down the road. From tomorrow on, it means new adventures. But today, before I hit the road, I must say thank you, Ms Ava Smith, Ms Tonija Navas (who by this time must have become a mother), and Ms Katie Irvin, for a nice trip. It's been very fulfilling. Thank you, the wonderful trio!

Why do African Americans love Russia?

I started to suspect it back in D.C. The suspicion grew in me throughout our trip, in Phoenix and Tucson, in Portland and New York, in Philadelphia, and now in Atlanta it blossomed into a realization of the truth, pure and simple: man, African Americans love Russia and Russians! Well, not all of them, perhaps. I mean, I didn't have a chance to speak to every one of them.

We were warmly welcomed in the African American community of Atlanta. After a while, our hosts showed us to the church hall. As we stood awkwardly in the hall during a religious service and people stared at us, I felt somewhat uncomfortable. But then our hosts interrupted the minister, apologized and said: "Brothers and sisters, these people are from Russia." In a moment the hall exploded! Some people started clapping, others were cheering, still others were stretching their hands for a handshake. It was both astonishing and very pleasing.

Here are a few quotations: 1) “We appreciated what the Soviet Union did for us. It was our friend and ally. Today Russia is our friend. It’s kind of hereditary”; 2) “The US used to fight for everybody’s rights. If you are such a champion of human rights and freedoms around the world, how about your own country?”; 3) “Our children don’t carry that baggage and that burden any more”; 4) “Will Obama become President? Who can tell? To move up, you sometimes have to move out. The question is: are Americans ready to accept all of its parts as a part of a whole?”; 5) “Obama energizes young people”; 6) “Sunday 11 a.m. is the most segregated time in America. Blacks go to their church, and whites go to their church, and Hispanics to theirs”; 7) “Bush wants Russia’s neighbors in NATO. What arrogance! What idiocy! They put Putin into a corner. And, of course, he says Russia will point their missiles at America. And what did they want? Obama, in my opinion, will bring more credibility and more thinking into policy.” [The summarized opinion of all I had seen or heard in America is this: if Obama becomes President, relationships with African, Asian countries and Russia may become warmer, given he can act on his own and not be told what to do. The way African Americans welcomed us in the South makes you believe they do remember what the USSR did for them.]

On the streets of Philadelphia

I liked the streets of Philadelphia. They are nice. I walked them "till my legs felt like stone."

And the parking lots! Walls of houses are painted, and when you park your car after a long working day you look at the picture, and feel something deep inside, something unfathomable, and bump into another car but don't mind it and think and think.

The Cradle of the American Revolution

Philadelphia is the "Cradle of the American Revolution." Everything breathes history here.

I finally received an answer to my long-time question: why is the Independence Day celebrated on July 4, and not July 2. The answer of our guide was: for no reason at all. It's a kind of historic mistake. The Declaration was voted for on July 2, and on July 4 saw just a few anendments. Then the text was carefully written by hand and rewritten because of mistakes and occasional smudges. The final version appeared a month later, in August.

Anyway, it was great to rub sleeves with the shadows of the Founders (Founding Fathers of the United States). Now I know why people in Philly all look quiet and strangely serene.

The Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower compared

Next time you stop in Paris or New York, when night falls remember to go all the way up the Eiffel Tower / the Empire State Building. When you look down, you'll know why I coerced you to do it. If you regret it, I'll return you the money. (If you are drunk and therefore feel giddy, I won't.)

Let's compare the two famous landmarks. Out of reverence to the American taxpayers, I'll put the Empire State first.

Name

The Empire State Building: Its name is derived from the nickname for the state of New York. The Eiffel Tower: Named after its designer, engineer Gustave Eiffel.

Height
The Empire State Building: 381 m ( 1,250 feet) at the 102nd floor, and including the 62 m (203 ft) pinnacle, its full height reaches 443 m (1,453 ft ). It stood as the world's tallest building for more than forty years, from 1931 to 1972, and again since September 11, 2001.
The Eiffel Tower: Including the 24 m (79 ft) antenna, the structure is 325 m (1,063 ft) high, which is equivalent to about 81 levels in a conventional building. The tower is now the fifth-tallest structure in France and the tallest structure in Paris.

Time of creation
The Empire State Building: Excavation of the site began on January 22, 1930, and construction itself started symbolically on March 17, St.Patrick's Day. The ribbon was cut on May 1, 1931.
The Eiffel Tower: Eiffel originally planned to build the tower in Barcelona, for the Universal Exposition of 1888, but those responsible thought it was a strange and expensive construction, which did not fit into the design of the city. After the refusal, Eiffel submitted his draft to those responsible for the Universal Exhibition in Paris. The structure was built between 1887 and 1889. The tower was opened on May 6, 1889 and became the world's tallest tower.

Suicides
The Empire State Building: Over the years, more than thirty people have committed suicide from the top of the building. The first suicide occurred even before its completion, by a worker who had been laid off. The fence around the observatory terrace was put up in 1947 after five people tried to jump during a three-week span. In 1979, a woman jumped from the 86th floor, only to be blown back onto the 85th floor, and ended up with only a broken hip. The last suicide was by a lawyer who leapt from the 69th floor on Friday, April 13, 2007. [
The Eiffel Tower: According to the Société de la Tour Eiffel, there have been 369 suicide attempts and 349 successful suicides from the tower. The first suicide ocuured in 1898, when a man hanged himself from one of the beams. One suicider, a young woman, survived the 57 meter drop from the first floor, landing on the roof of a car. After recovering, the woman married the owner of the car.

One year, two Easters

As it happened, this spring I celebrated two Easters. The Orthodox Easter has just passed, on April 27. The Catholic-Protestant Easter occurred this year almost a month earlier, while we were in Arizona, on March 23.

I didn't see any celebrations in America. We went to the Grand Canyon that day. The only sign of Easter I saw was that fewer Native Americans were selling souvenirs on that day. The commercials advertized either "Easter sales" or "spring sales". No other noticeable signs of Easter.

In Russia, every Easter week we have an excursion to the Church on the Blood. Why that particular week? Because then people are allowed to ring the bells! The view from the Bell Tower is breathtaking. My students and our American and German friends put on earphones and pulled the strings of the bells. (Photo: Talitha, a 4-year old American girl.) A professional bell-ringer was there to help us enjoy ourselves and, if possible, to save the city from a terrible cacophony of sounds. He showed us what to do and how to do it and played the main tune. "The tuneful peal rang on" floated above the city for a whole week. What a joy for Christians! What a nuisance for non-believers and tourists who are sleepy or hung-over in the morning!

Two cultural scenarios

Is there any difference in how Russians and Americans behave in theaters and stadiums? I have a maniacal interest in how cultural scenarios vary from culture to culture.

1. A Broadway Show
Theaters in Russia run up to 15 or more different performances each month. So, you can go to the same theater every day of the week and see something new. In America, or in New York at least, one theater runs one and the same show every night. If you want to see something new, go next door, to another theater. (We enjoyed the musical Hair Spray, and now I remember it every time I wash my hair.) One show may run for months and even years. Well, really, why trade good for worse? Actors polish their acting and singing. People go to see their favorite shows again and again, and they know all the words by heart, and at the end they often stand up and sing along together with the actors.

And yet, I wonder how it feels when you go on stage for the 100th time and have a hunch this groundhog day will last for who knows how long? I must go online and look for statistics of suicides among Broadway show actors.

2. A Basketball Game
I wanted to see basketball March madness. It's a fancy term which means end of the season games of university basketball teams. That couldn't be arranged but our hosts from the Department of State kindly offered us a substitute: an NBA game between New York Knicks and Orlando Magic. The game itself was good. However, I expected cheering to be somewhere between 8.0 and 9.0, according to the Richter magnitude scale. Alas, that was not to be. Cheering was good and whole-hearted but our Russian fans cheer as cheerfully. Ok, the fact has been established and dutifully filed.

Now, here comes the dessert. The most curious thing about circuses, stadiums, and theaters in the two countries is how people get to their seats! In Russia, we say "excuse me", those already sitting usually stand up unsmilingly, and we squeeze to our seats facing them, with our backs to the stage. In America, people say "excuse me" and smile, those already sitting smile back and usually don't stand up, and Americans squeeze to our seats facing the stage, with their backs to the sitting (or standing) people. My American friends explain that the latter approach is more rational, because in this case people don't kick each others' knees. My Russian friends counter by saying that seeing a face is better than... eh... you know...

Elevator cultures

A careful observer will notice that, when trapped in an elevator, Russians and Americans behave differently. Our Russian culture is more Eastern, is a "group culture". It manifests itself in diverse ways: long feasts with many people around the big table and lots of sophisticated toasts, sayings like Mir ne bez dobrykh ludey (People kind and fair are everywhere) and Na miru i smert krasna (Meeting your death is no fear/is a blessing when there are people near you), etc.

In Russia, people in elevators stand in a circle, while in America and Europe they stand in rows. I surfed the Net looking for any observations about elevator culture in different countries. That's what I found at http://invisiblehandinyourpants.wordpress.com/ :

"Elevator culture in Chile: The first person onto the elevator holds the door open, temporarily assuming the position of elevator attendant. He/she waits for everyone in sight to enter and then allows the door to close.

"Elevator culture in America: Everyone stands in the back of the elevator, hoping it will shut in the face of the fat woman stampeding towards the closing door and thus enabling them to begin their journey 2.5 seconds sooner. If successful, smirks and furtive glances are exchanged."

Skyscrapers, skyscrapers, and I feel so small...

Skyscrapers, skyscrapers, and I feel so small... (Neboskryoby, neboskryoby, a ya malenkiy takoy...) These are words from a song which any mainstream Russian would know. In Manhattan, you do feel small and insignificant. We lived on the 21st floor of the Sheraton Manhattan hotel. (Enjoy the view from the window.) At times I felt like a jailbird.

Bulls and bears

In my previous entry I mentioned Wall Street. As a text that we translate with my students says, "Stock market speculators fall into two groups. One group, commonly known as bulls, hopes to profit by correctly predicting an increase in the value of a stock. The other group, bears, hopes to profit by correctly predicting a decrease in the value of a stock. Bulls are said to "buy long." That is, they buy stocks intending to hold them until they can be sold at a higher price.

"Bears "sell short." Expecting the price of a stock to fall, bears borrow the stock from their brokers and sell it at today's price. If and when the price does fall, they repurchase the stock at the lower price, return it to their brokers, and pocket the differ­ence. The broker is paid a fee for these services.

"The exact origin of the terms "bull" and "bear" is not known. However, you can re­member what kind of market they refer to because bull's horns point up and a bear lumbers along looking down at the ground."

There is a sculpture of a bull on Wall Street. Those tourists who know at least something about blue chips, stock exchanges and such, touch its horns. Those who think little of business and much of life after a working day ends, touch the opposite part(s) of its body. Which part of the bull would you touch?!

Friends will be friends

What's the chance of meeting a friend in a city like New York. One zillionth? Less? I met 4 (f-o-u-r -- four!) my friends from Yekat! Ok, ok. I admit I didn't meet them by chance. We had arranged it many days and many miles before that day. Anyway, it was nice seeing them: Ludmila Razumova (leftest) and Alla Onischenko (closest to me) with whom we had worked shoulder to shoulder at my college for a few years, and Alla's two daughters - Sophie (blackest) who studies now in Britain and who used to be my student and that's why is still somewhat shy when talking to me, and Miranda (pinkest and youngest) who used to be friends with my daughter and now is more American than Russian.

That was quite a reunion! Lucy teaches comparative literature and is married to a wonderfully accomplished mathematician Okhtai. It's Okh for friends which is curious because, first, it sounds and means something like ouch for a Russian ear, and, second, it's unpronounceable for most Americans because - despite the history of the English language - today they just can't pronounce the hard sound h. Okhtai is used to introducing himself as Oktai and after having worked for Google is now working on Wall Street.

Alla is a happy mother of two happy and very talented and very different daughters. Writing about her/them will probably take me days, and I guess I better do it by doses. For now, I'll just say that she's happily married to Jorgen /'yor-ghen/ who is not an accomplished mathematician but is a born-and-yet-self-made entrepreneur with a head of a mathematician. As my wife is also an accomplished mathematician, I wonder whether it's a kind of Karma for an accomplished linguist??

TESOL Convention

TESOL /'tee-sawl/ stands for Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages, Inc. We took part in their annual convention which lasted a few days. What was it like? Hundreds of people walking in all directions, scores of presentations going on simultaneously in dozens of rooms of 2 big hotels - the Hilton and the Sharaton Manhattan - and on a few floors of the educational exhibition. It all looked like a huge anthill. I felt like an ant, an English-speaking ant. I had never seen so many English teachers in one place before! It must have been scary for those students who hate English!! Nightmares for weeks on end are guaranteed!!!

My loyal readers, I wouldn't like you to yawn thru my lengthy descriptions of those eventful days. Here are just a few conclusions that I made:

1. Americans finally realized that teaching English is a good business and they are coming!

(The Britons had realized it a few years before that and had already occupied many markets, Russia including. In fact, I sometimes think that Russia is the last stronghold of the British empire.)

2. Contrary to my expectations, paper dictionaries are still being published and promoted.

3. Today both students and teachers are looking for interaction in the classroom.

4. Online and proactive teaching/learning have a great future.

I wish I could live long enough to see a similar global convention of teachers of Russian!

I wanna wake up in the city that doesn't sleep

Our flight from Portland to Chicago was delayed for 2 hours. As a compensation, on board I enjoyed the company of a 6-month-old princess. She didn't understand Russian, but was fluent in babbling in English and French. We chose English as our lingua franca and played happily all the way to Chicago.

The flight from Chicago to NYC was delayed for 2 hours. (Why am I not surprised?) We spent those exciting hours on the tarmac. They didn't feed us on board (they never do in America, just drinks and an occasional miniature pretzel), which buoyed up everyone's spirits. By the time we arrived at the hotel, I was starving. At 2 a.m. a group of hungry Russians stalked streets of New York for food. There were quite a few people on streets. New York didn't sleep. One guy walked along the street with a cat on his head. The cat obviously didn't mind.

I realized I was humming a tune of Frank Sinatra's song all night until I finally got to bed in the morning. Hum along with me!:

Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New York, New York
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York

I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill - top of the heap

These little town blues, are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it - in old New York
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York

New York, New York,
I want to wake up in a city, that never sleeps
And find I'm A number one, top of the list, king of the hill
A number one

These little town blues, are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York

Löst in Translaßion and Korean Food

According to our program, on Sunday, March 30, we visited Portland's Korean Presbyterian Church. The services are simultaneously interpreted into English for those Koreans whose English is better than Korean. For me, an acting interpreter, it was an interesting experience. I put my headphones on and was all ears.

The hall was spacious, and the acoustics were good. I enjoyed the sound of the mini-organ, the piano, and the view of the electric guitars and a set of drums. I counted worshipers on the pews and those playing, singing and preaching, and was curious to note that, not including us Russians, the number was equal: 50-50, or to be more mathematically precise, 15 and 15 people on each side. In Russia, I'm more accustomed to the ratio of a few scores of parishers per one priest.

Although the minister knew he was being interpreted, he spoke so fast that the poor interpreter managed to render, I guess, no more than one fifth of what was going on. And this is my best guess! He didn't seem to mind the pace of speech and spoke in a slow even reassuring way. At times he would miss a few sentences. At times he would say: "You can read it now on the big screen." (Fortunately, some pieces were beamed onto a screen on the wall.) At times he would sing in Korean together with the minister and/or the church choir.

That day, the reading of the Gospel and the subsequent sermon was devoted to the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard (Matt. 20: 1-16). The Russian Orthodox interpretation says that the parable tells us that God calls for people to come to him. Some people come earlier, others come later, still others come at the end of their lives - at the 11th hour. All the people have their rewards, although "early birds" may resent it or be jealous. The biblical expression "the 11th hour" - at the last moment - is the only one, to my knowledge, that doesn't have an idiomatic Russian equivalent. However, Orthodox worshipers know the expression "workers of the 11th hour."

Hadn't I known that interpretation, I would hardly understood anything. Frankly, I felt sorry for the fellow-interpreter and was very sympathetic. Why can't the minister speak a little slower, I wondered.

After the service, we were treated to Korean meal. There are lots of Koreans in Yekat. I had a student, Lena Kim. I buy food from them now and then. But when I started putting Korean food onto my plastic plate, I suddenly realized Korean worshipers were staring at me. I was instantly apprehensive. Instead of offering us a plateful of soup, they smilingly offered us a halfplateful. I got even more apprehensive. But when I started eating... Gosh! I felt like someone set my mouth and whole body on fire and had no desire to quench it! If anyone had a cigarette lighter and lit it, I would have breathed fire! I could have worked for the Cirque du Soleil that night and have had a tremendous success! I'm happy the fire extinguisher was not far from me! I felt not unlike a fire dragon or that Spartan boy who was hiding a fox under his cloak which ate up the boy's insides! When I had bravely eaten up almost everything I had unwisely put on my plate - I couldn't have eaten more, really, I had to think of my family and daily bread for them, - I finally breathed out with relief: phew! whew!. The American-Korean fly that was cruising above us, smitten by my breath, fainted and fell down, all but dead. We had to practise artificial respiration, mouth-to-mouth method, to bring it to its senses. Boy, when I come back to Yekat, I'll go to my marketplace and say thank you to my Russian Koreans for being merciful for us sinners!

Public transport in America

Public transport in America differs greatly from that in Russia. Subway - or Metro in D.C. (in the picture) - is purely functional. Most probably, aestheticians will not take it as a feast of feeling. In contrast, lots of Moscow subway/metro stations are true masterpieces. If you care for books like 1,000 Things To See Before You Die, you'll find out that Moscow subway is on the list.

Streetcars in America is another story. (Do you like Shakespeare?) According to our knowledgeable coordinators/facilitators, back in the middle of the 20th century hi-profile automobile companies took to buying streetcar lines in American cities -- to destroy them! Why? Elementary, my dear Watson! Of course, mainstream Americans were frustrated, outraged, and desparate... For a month. Then they realized that they had to go to their offices somehow, streetcars or no streetcars. Guess, what happened? Bingo! They started buying automobiles!!! In some American cities you can still find evidence to this story (photo from Philadelphia - tracks smiling at you from under asphalt).

In Portland, the streetcar line is good. And it's free! You don't have to pay a penny if you use it in the downtown area, which in fact means almost everywhere. Hotels and other businesses pay a tax to make it stay free. It attracts people, they say. This is communism in action, that's what I say!

Do Americans go to the circus, or Does the circus go to Americans?

In Russia, people go to the circus which is always at the same spot in town. Circus troupes come and go, but the building and the spectators remain. In America, and many other countries, it's the other way round: the circus comes to town - the stage, the pavilion, ticket booths, acrobats, conjurers, clowns, biological toilets, and all. It may be any spot in town.

In Portland - and I must point out that there are two Portlands, one in Oregon (539,438 people according to 2002 estimate) and the other in Maine (63,882 people 2002 estimate, so it cannot really be described as the MAIN Portland) - we attended a circus performance. It was the Canadian circus Cirque du Soleil (French for "Circus of the Sun"). It was very professional, but for the sake of comparison, I cannot say that something struck me as particularly odd or unusual.

Yet, here are a few things that you may find interesting:
- the stage was not round but rectangular and divided the audience into two equal semicircles;
- it's very international and there were/are quite a few Russian speakers;
- during the break people line up for the previlege of entering a biological toilet, and because it was cold outside, for many people who finally reached the cherished door, it was not just a toilet or restroom, but a comfort station.

If you feel a sudden urge to get a ticket for their next performance or become their sponsor, visit their official site at www.cirquedusoleil.com/CirqueDuSoleil/en .

Mr Celsius and Mr Fahrenheit

We hopped from mid-40s in DC to mid-80s in Arizona, and back to 40s in Portland. By this I mean degrees Fahrenheit.

Background information. Fahrenheit: temperature scale where water freezes 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. Celsius: temperature scale where water freezes at 0 degrees and boils at 100 degrees.

How do you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius? It's easy. First, you deduce 32. Second, you devide the result by 2. For example, today is 42°F, with occasional sprinkles. (It doesn't rain in Oregon, it sprinkles!) So, 42-32=10, 10:2=5. Don't deduce or divide sprinkles. If you have a head for math, add 1/10 to the result: 5+0.5=5.5, but if you are arithmetically challenged, don't bother! Now, Oregonian Sunday promised 46°F for tomorrow. How much would that be according to Celsius?

Background information. The Fahrenheit scale coincides with the Celsius scale at −40 °F, which is the same temperature as −40 °C.

Vera from Yakutsk told me a few things about their climate. This winter, she says, has been warm - it never got colder than -40 or -42°C. Children go to school at any weather, but they just cover their faces up to the eyes. Also, they have lots of snow. If one day they become a host city for the Winter Olympic Games, our national team may have a good chance to win lots of medals!

Background information. Mr Fahrenheit chose zero to be the temperature of the coldest material he could reproduce in his 18th century laboratory. This was ice melting in water saturated with common salt. His third point, the 96th degree, was the level of the liquid in the thermometer when held in the mouth or under the armpit. According to www.calculatenow.biz/conversions/temperature.html , he "chose 96 as the temperature of his wife's armpit. Who else's armpit is that famous?" A bright question. Think whatever you want, but be careful next time when somebody approaches you with a thermometer in his hand and a grin on his face. Your armpit may become famous one day!

The 11th day: we start hating each other

Back in Moscow, Yelena Lublina, a US Embasy official who is widely known and respected in the English speaking community Russianwide, warned us of the 11th-day crisis. Well, it has come. Every day we have, on average, 3 meetings. It means we have introduced ourselves appr. 30 times by now. So, we know each other, our cities, friends, pets, families, friends of families, and families of friends. We know what each one is going to say at the next moment and how he/she is going to say it. And we start hating each other for that.

Our 11th day was on March 25th. Today is our 3rd 11th day in a row.

From Tucson to Phoenix to Portland

We drove from Phoenix to Tucson ('too-son) and two days later took a flight from Tucson ('too-son) back to Phoenix, instead of driving there. That’s the way Americans travel. Why bother with buses, when you can fly? It took us over 2 hours to drive from Phoenix to Tucson. It took us over 4 hours to fly there, including boarding and security check-ups. The actual flight was short, 31 minutes and 12 seconds. We flew at such low height that had there been skyscrapers in the area, they would have scraped our plane! It was so short, my neighbor didn’t get half through a glossy magazine offered by the US Airways, and she had to take it along for further inspection. The pilots and the flight attendants must be dizzy at the end of the day after flying to and fro between the two cities. Locals do not go shopping here, they fly shopping.

Fire it up! Ready to go!

We met two enthusiastic people who work for the Barack Obama movement: Ambassador Sharon P. Wilkinson (she used to work as a US ambassador to Mosambique) and Michelle Camp. For starters, we warmed up by repeating Obama’s motto: “Fire it up! Ready to go!” When we were fired up enough and ready to go, they let us peek behind the curtains of the presidential campaign. Sh.Wilkinson: “How do you start? Roll up your sleeves and start to work. And, believe me, it’s not sexy.” Once we established it was not sexy, we fired a few questions.

Q. If Hillary Clinton wins, will B.Obama agree to be her vice-president or foreign secretary?”

A. B.Obama himself said: “Number One in the primaries will not run for number two.”

Q. Why doesn’t Hispanic population support Obama?

A. Bill Clinton did a lot for the Latino population, and it will probably run in the family. So, they are loyal to the Clinton family, and why trade better for who knows what? According to Sh.Wilkinson, Senator Richardson, Hispanic himself, said: “If Obama wins, he’ll be the leader not for Latinos, African Americans or white community. Yes, B.Clinton did a lot, but it’s time to move on.”

Q. Which candidate is more Russia-friendly?

A. People in America do not watch closely US-Russia relationship, so it’s hard to say. H.Clinton will probably follow the line of B.Clinton. On the other hand, B.Obama is more focused on foreign affairs. (Opinion of other Americans we met: Putin rules with an iron glove, and Medvedev looks like a person ready to introduce a “thaw period”. Many Americans are afraid of a new cold war. A few expressed an opinion that Obama was more “pro-Russian”, but when asked why they could hardly give any evidence. In times of troubles interest to the Russian language increses, in times of peace decreases.)

Q. Why do people in Arab countries support Obama?

A. People there think it would mean real equality. They hope that Obama will be more understanding and supportive of African and Arab nations. (We met a few white Americans who campainged for Obama alongside immigrants from Arab countries.)

Q. If B.Obama wins, could a Monica Lewinski scandal occur?

A. According to M.Camp, Barack’s wife will just kill him!! He’s not a kind of person to play holier-than-thou game. They are just a good traditional family.

Q. Can JohnMcCaine win?

A. Yes, we cannot exclude it. Although he’s a Republican, he’s on the left side and can “reach across the isle”. But if it happens, it’ll be very frustrating for many Americans – and many people worldwide - who want a change, who want a non-white and/or non-male President. Also, he’s old and there are jokes about it.

Now, let me ask you this: who is more likely to become President of Russia in the foreseeable future – a woman or an African Russian?

The Great Canyon State

Native Americans: Background

On October 12, 1492, Columbus landed on an island in the Bahamas, which he named San Salvador. Because he thought he had reached the Indies, he called the inhabitants of the region Indians. Until the day he died in 1506, Columbus continued to believe that he had reached Asia, although others knew better. In 1499, Amerigo Vespucci had an idea that a new continent had been discovered, and in 1507 a mapmaker labeled the new land America.

Europeans brought diseases against which Indians had no immunity. The great killer was smallpox. Other devastating illnesses included influenza, measles, and chicken pox. The ststistics are staggering. When Columbus landed on Hispanio;a in 1492, more than 3 million Indians resided there. 50 years later, only 500 were still alive. There is historic evidence that once Europeans learned that smallpox was killing Indians by thousands, they begin to intentionally infect them. The Native Americans took a revenge of sorts. They gave the Europeans syphilis.

(facts are borrowed from A Pepole and a Nation. A History of the United States. Boston: Houghton Mufflin Company, 1991, pp. 11-14.)

Prelude

In DC we visited the Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indians. Mr Smithsonian, a Briton, did not inherit anything from his father, a duke, because he was a bastard – Mr Smithsonian, not his father. He made a career and became a wealthy man. Being mean and revengeful, Mr Smithsonian left lots of his money before dying not to his family or his country, but to the US which he had never visited - for cultural puprposes. For quite some time, the US government could not understand where the catch was and refused to accept the gift. In the long run, after many heated debates and calling each other names, officials reluctantly agreed to accept the British money.

…Our guide in the Museum, native American Ken, introduced himself as half-Pueblo and half-Navaho (‘nah-vah-hoe) and said that the only foreign language he spoke was English. According to Ken, if we compare the history of America to one hour, say from 10 to 11 am, then Christopher Columbus arrived in America at 10.50.

We always associate native Americans with horses, or horses with native Americans. However, Indians became horse-savvy, presumably, only in the 16^th century, due to Spaniards.

In recent years, casinos opened almost in each reservation, and life of native Americans is now changing dramatically. As every native American get revenues from the casino located at their reservation, they drive expensive cars and started to drop their education. This is how Americans expiate their original sin of exterminating Indians.

Before we move on, I must say a few words about the museum. It is very differrent from Russian museums . It is VERY spacious. Our museums have more exhibits and fewer gift shops, cafeterias, and restrooms per square meter.

The Grand Canyon

We crossed 5 or 6 climatic zones, We drove along the famous Freeway 66 (it used to connect Westeern and Eastern coasts. We stopped at the reservation’s restaurant to eat traditional Indian food and ended up eating a Navahoburger (no kidding!). Some jerk had run over a skunk, a for a few miles we enjoyed a nice smell in the van. (After a Navahoburger I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a skunkburger at our next stop.) On our way back, we sang Russian songs, and our wonderful African-American driver Eugene now knows them all.

As for the Canyon itself… What can I say? I have nothing but epithets to describe it: It’s scenic, dignified, sombre, red, proud, prestine, timeless, unyielding, and undivulgeing. It’s GRAND!

To Phoenix via Pittsburgh

Today is my daughter’s birthday. She turns 9 today. Out of her 10 birthdays, this is the first one I have missed. I called her yesterday, at 11.30 pm DC time, and it was 8.30 am in Yekat. The time difference is 9 hours. As for jet lag and all, I wasn’t very uncomfortable, really. The secret is to stay awake until the local night comes and then sleep like a log until local morning. I heard that some people can sleep with their eyes open. Very practical!

Now we are at the International Ronald Reagan Airport. Instead of flying to Phoenix, Arizona, we are going to fly to… Pittsburgh. The direct flight was canceled for one reason or other. Ok, we’ll see another American city, or, rather, another American airport. (In fact, we did see Pittsburgh skyscrapers from the plane. What we missed, though, was the famous Pittsburgh incline.) And yes, I have to set my watch 3 hours forward. Now the time difference between me and Yekat is exactly 12 hours.

Security is tough at American airports. Every foreigner is checked twice. Unshaven men, even if they forgot to shave their armpits in the morning, are checked thrice. This is payment for safety. But every time I undress I feel like a striptease dancer at a work place.

Anyway, our interpreter-facilitator-coordinator Michael asked me about my surprises in America, if there were any. Here you are. Surprises include:

1. No easy access to the Internet. I resent the speculative price of $5 per 15 minutes that we were offered at the hotel.

2. I haven’t discovered good coffee here yet. Most of what I have tasted is run-of-the-mill, to say the least. Starbucks coffee is better, and yet, being a cofee junkee, I expected and still expect more. (Coffee in Arizona is much better, I must say!)

3. Absence of cell phone in your pocket means you will have trouble trying to reach your far-away friends and relations. Pay booths are scarce. Selecting a phone card out of scores of options that you are faced with is a rocket science! There are cards that deduce $1 for each connection, there are others that charge, say, 69 cents for each attempt to be connected, still others have specific surcharges in different cities and states. There are charges for the first day of use, for the last day of use, for calling other countries, for not calling other countries, for speaking Russian… Ahhh!!! At times I think they deduce a few cents every time I just think of making a call. The best thing you can do in case you don’t have a cell phone in the US is either to call more rarely but speak longer or to preliminary eliminate all the friends and relatives.

Figaro here, Figaro there, Figaro up, Figaro down

We have many, many meetings, and I feel like Figaro. I'm scribbling away notes all the time, and when ideas come, they come not single spies, but in battalions. My dear students, beware!

The Carlos Rosario International School is a charter school, which is not so easy to translate. A charter school is a government - sponsored school that teaches would-be US citizens. We attended a few classes. Most of all, I liked a citizenship class. People there are so enthusiastic! I wish Russia's government could provide such classes for those immigrants whose sole desire is to become a Russian citizen.

The school is driven by the wonderful Dr. Hugo Galindo, a man with inexhaustible supply of energy. (He is with the Russia's flag. And our helpful coordinator Michael Melitonov, the gray-bearded guy, is right behind me.)

They have a flag (and a clock, and a TV set, a few other things) in each class. If it doesn't instill patriotism, what does? I saw flocks of kids visiting American war memorials. When and how does homeland begin? With a flag in a classroom, maybe.

Figaro here, Figaro there, Figaro up, Figaro down

We also visited the Georgetown University which boasts a world-famous School of Language and Linguistics. Many professors are followers of N.Chomsky. I found out that prof. Allen Brodsky and prof. Roberto Brodsky work there.

Officials back in Russia transliterated mu surname as BRODSKIY instead of following the tradition of transcription and common sesnse - BRODSKY (may even rhyme with SKY). They ignored Joseph Brodsky and all other Brodskys in the world. I feel humble and humiliated.

Brodskys of all countries, unite!

Figaro here, Figaro there, Figaro up, Figaro down

We visited Montgomery Blair High School in a small town musically called Silver Spring. We stepped onthe soil of Maryland. All the states have their own flags, nicknames, mottos, and branches of power. Every state has willingly agreed to share common currency, advocate common foreign policy, and unite in issues of national security (though state police are hired and the sheriff is elected locally). Washinton DC's motto is Justice to all. Maryland's motto is much more sophisticated: Latin Fatti maschii parole femine could be translated as "manly deeds, womanly words" (Male Shovinist Pigs may like it) or, more elegantly, "strong deeds, gentle words".

There we met a Russian-American girl Samantha Gogol Lynn, who claims to be related to the great Russian writer Nickolai Gogol.

They have a "finger tips rule" for girls there. If you, girls, wear a skirt and you put your arm down and you fail to touch the edge of the skirt with your finger tips because it is shorter, you are sent out of class, girls. Hm.. I think it's a good rule, especially in summer time, when some girls wear microskirts and forget to change on the way from a beach to college.

DC Layout

At times we have trouble looking for a building we need, because there are no numbers on houses. Not normally. Why is that? Our interpreters-facilitators Michael Melitonov and Vadim Erent – both came to the US in their preteens – are very helpful and have answeres to all our questions. I asked them if absence of Arabic numbers is an aftermath, or rather a slippery slope, of 9/11 events. For the first time, they looked puzzled and said they did not know.

Congress established the District of Columbia in 1792 on the land ceded by the states of Virginia and Maryland. The city was designed by a French-American architect Pierre-Charles L'Enfent.
New York is unimaginatively planned in such a way that you cannot possibly get lost. All streets and avenues are perpendicular. (I hope to write about it later.) DC was originally planned to copy NY. Streets running from East (from the Capitol) to West have letters, and those running from North to South have numbers. Our Topaz Hotel is roughly at the intersection of street N and street 17. However, "perfection leaves no room for development" (O.Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest), and on an afterthought, architects of DC introduced diagonal streets to make the orientation even faster and more efficient. That was the big killer. Diagonal streets ruin the otherwise perfectly planned city. A short cut to your hotel may turn out to be a long cut to a place which you had no intention to visit.

Voice of America

On average, we have three meetings a day, and most of them are professionally fulfilling. Don't run away yet, dear reader - I'm not going to describe them all! Today I'd like to mention our visit to the Voice of America. The enthusiastic presentation was given by Mr Avi Ardetti, feature editor and senior web editor (on the left, and one of our coordinators Vadim Erent is busily making pictures - he is a nice photographer).

I have a soft spot in my heart for them. Back in the 1980s, I had a big lamp transistor radio (tube radio) and listened to the Voice of America. Those were the days! Behind the iron curtain, we could enjoy lots of radio stations broadcasting in different languages. Now, at the age of technology, I can listen to the BBC only. (Curiously, their broadcast wave in Russia is 666.)

Voice of America's Russian programs used to be jammed, as well as most English programs. But they also had programs in Ukrainian, and those were not jammed! Apparently, the Soviet authorities decided that no one would possibly understand this hopelessly foreign language. Or radio jammers were Ukrainians themselves and they just wanted listen to the programs over a cup of tea. Well, we understood too, my father and I. Being a Ukrainian, my father relished his mother tongue and would occasionally translate me something that I did not understand.

When many years later I decided to polish my pronunciation (in English, not in Russian), I used their Special English Programs. Although my pronunciation still wants polishing, it's not their fault, and I recommend that you visit their site www.voaspecialenglish.com. You won't live to regret it. If you do regret it, I'll buy you an ice cream as a compensation when I'm back.

The squirrel community

There are many squirrels in parks of DC. People watch them and feed them. One of my colleagues, a journalist, fed them, too. To attract squirrels’ attention, she would call them: “Come here, little zaika (bunny), come over here!” Bunny!? Boy! After that don’t tell me journalists are full of trite cliches!

We took pictures, and felt good, sentimental, and greenpeaceful about feeding the little creatures – until one shabby pissed-off looking squirrel bit my journalist friend by the finger and ran away busily. He stopped for a moment and looked back, as if saying: “That will teach you all a lesson! And don’t you call us no bunnies no more!” He looked at me then: "And don't you try anything either, you bunny-lover!" Well, it did teach us all a lesson. From that day on we did not feed any mad March squirrels any more in parks of DC.

I feel a trifle jealous of my squirrel-bitten friend. Just imagine. Next time she wants to breathe in some life into an idle conversation, she can say something like: “And by the way, have you ever been bitten by a squirrel?”

Washington, DC: a Few Glimpses

The Ronald Reagan International Airport looked more spacious, lighter, and friendlier than the JFK and the Laguardia. It is almost in the center of the city. As our plane was lowering, I thought we were going to land right on the roofs, and in a moment quiet life of a hundred households would be cruelly ruined. (Photo of the roofs we nearly landed on and cars quietly parked on them: courtesy Yelena Gromushkina).

You can go to the airport by subway (curiously, they call it metro in DC). You may as well ride there on your bicycle.

The White House

“The White House was smaller than I expected. Everybody says that” (B.Bryson, The Lost Continent). It’s true. The White House is smaller than you would expect. I say so, too. Imagine, such a comparatively small house plays such a huge role in the world affairs!

Unpremeditated Encounter with New York

As our transatlantic flight was delayed for 6 hours, we missed our connection to Washington, DC and had to spend a night in New York. Two helpful Department of State officials collected us at the JFK and took us to the Ramada Hotel, the hotel for “Airline Distress Passengers”, as the sign at the reception read. Judging by the number of guests and largeness of the rooms (by NY standards), the hotel does not live on airline distress passengers, but thrives on them.

We were given 4 rooms - 1 room for the two men, and 3 rooms for the ten women. The catch is: there were 2 beds in each room. We, men, were quite happy, but our female colleagues had to consent to 0.6 beds per capita, or sleep on the floor. That's one privilege of being a male teacher in Russia!

The Department of State paid $200 for the four rooms. At the US Embassy in Moscow we were told, among other things, that American taxpayers pay a hefty sum of money – about 60,000 dollars – to cover each IV program participant’s trip to the US. (IV stands for the Department of State’s International Visitor Program). It’s an excellent chance for people all around the globe, who otherwise might never find time or money for it, to take in everyday American culture. 60,000 dollars per person, can you believe it? And we are 12 in the group. What a great country! I only wish Russia’s government would launch a similar program!

In the morning, I listened to the radio. Boy, do I love commersials! Let me give you just 2 examples (they are not fictional but real examples, mind you!).

1. Granddaughter: Wow! Granny! Now when I embrace you, my hands meet around your waist!

Granny:That’s right! I decided to put off some weight <…>

2. Sexy voice: Yoohoo! My name is IRS. (I nearly choked over my morning coffee.) I’m here to give you a hint at how you can save some money. Wanna know more? Visit me! My site is irs.com. See you there!

We took two vans to the Laguardia airport. Our African-American driver Henry showed us as much of NY as he possibly could.

At the airport, one our friend could not find her ticket. The ticket number wasn't at the database, and the only thing we could do was to chip in and but a new ticket for her.

First, my cap, then a 6-hour delay and a missed connection, and now a lost ticket! 3 is a company, don't you think? On the bright side, that's what I call a real-life experience. More adventures are coming, I'm sure of that! Stay tuned!